I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
