I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
