AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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