i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize
