I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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