We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
