I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
