im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm like, not good at living.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
