Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
