Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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