my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
