OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
