At least make sure they are 18
Why
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
