um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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