So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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