It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
