For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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