Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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