i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize