goodnight i made you a song goodbye
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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