Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
