I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
