i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
