I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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