Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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