I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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