i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
