Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
