i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
