Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
