found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
