i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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