She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Come see our sink grown plant.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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