ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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