oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
