her vagine was all disorganized.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
