don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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