dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
