who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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