I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
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Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
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I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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