every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I wear drunk well.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
