i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
