Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
