Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
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She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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