You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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