'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
