you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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