god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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