The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The convent might be a nice break from real life
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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