i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i will never coherently bang her
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
