another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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