Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
