hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
"it" just moved
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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