Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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