we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
