I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize