If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
