my sisters under your porch take her home
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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