checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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