Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize