Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
