I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
