Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize