i permit you to call me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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