were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
